How to include your younglings in almost anything

One of the hardest balancing acts in parenthood is the daily choice between doing what needs to be done (housework, cooking, cleaning, etc.) and what you would like to do (play with your kids, read, nap, etc.). Here are some ideas on what I do to strike that balance- I would love to hear your comments about what you do/have done in order to be supermom...

*note: these things are probably going to slow you up a bit but at the end of the day it might be worth it!

Have to do the dishes: allow your children to stand on a chair next to you and "help" by playing in the bubbles or even rinsing the dishes

Have to clean your room: allow the kids to jump on the bed while you clean up around them. Play intermittent peek-a-boo by hiding next to the bed and popping up to get them

Have to clean their room: turn some music on while you are cleaning and encourage the kids to dance and sing. Give the children something easy to pick up. Sometimes I have my daughter clean-up the puzzles by asking her to put them back together again.

Have to clean the bathroom: Put the kids in the bath and let them play while you clean-up. I would not recommend this if you use harsh cleaners as they will be inhaled by everyone in the bathroom.

Have to get ready: Let kids brush their teeth with you or chew on an extra toothbrush if they are still too young to really brush their teeth. Give your kids a hair brush to brush their hair when you do yours and maybe a blush brush for when you do your make-up.

Have to cook dinner: Get that chair or chairs out again and let the kids help measure and place ingredients. You can allow kids who are old enough to use a plastic knife to cut soft foods for dinner. If this makes you nervous, you can have the kids pretend to make food with a pretend kitchen or pretend food. You can also have the kids play with play-doh at the kitchen table while dinner is being prepared.

Have to do laundry: Show your kids how to help you sort and even place clothes in the washer or dryer. My daughter Sofia (3) can even fold towels and wash rags after I showed her a couple of times!

Have to run errands: Allow your kids to pack a special snack to eat at a specific time in between errands. Plan errands around naps and meal times. Maybe you can include an errand to the park when everything else is all done!

These are just a few things I try to do so I can use the most of my time. Of course I make time for reading and playing only- not while trying to do other things. I also try to make time for me while the kids are having naps or watching a little PBS. I love PBS.

I hope your child labor red flag isn't going off after reading my suggestions. I feel like being able to help gives my girls a sense of accomplishment and helps us to grow our mother/daughter bond by doing things together, even if it is housework. Housework has to be done and kids have to be played with, nurtured..... and taught the harsh realities of daily life one day at a time.

Doula myths debunked

If you are not familiar with the term "doula," as in birth doula, it is a woman who provides constant emotional and physical support to the mother during labor and birth and in the immediate postpartum time. Or, that's the bare bones of it.

In keeping with my new found birth junkie side, I wanted to address something that I saw on a message board about doulas. In an open discussion about how to talk to a woman looking into doula care for her birth, someone stated that there are three common objections to or myths about doula services:

1. A doula takes the place of a husband/partner
2. A doula only takes clients who wish to have an unmedicated birth
3. A doula has her own agenda for birth

So true I thought... and if I want people I know to give the idea of having a doula at their birth a chance- I best get my story straight. Here's the story....

1. Myth: A doula takes the place of the husband or partner.

Debunked: No way! A birth doula can serve a mother who has a husband/partner, other support people with her or is single. A laboring woman needs all the attention of support people outside of nurses, doctors and midwives (who have their own responsibilities). Many times it does take four (or more) hands to help the mother as she needs it during contractions for pain relief. The doula is more of a conduit between the laboring woman and partner, teaching the partner how to best serve mom as her needs change throughout labor. The mother also needs someone she can rely on for information as needed. She should not have to rely on only herself as her "normal self" may have been taken over by her "labor self" a while ago. Dad is not best for this role either (as anyone with a husband can imagine). The doula, knowledgeable in hospital procedures and protocols, comfort measures, positioning, and breastfeeding in the postpartum time is perfect for information transfer, helping mom and her partner work together to birth their baby.

The best things about the doula/husband or partner combo:
-Dad experiences less pressure because mom's needs are met and he is not the go-to for everything
-Dad has his needs met too
-If dad needs to leave the room to handle childcare for other children or get something to eat, mom is safe and sound and supported best of all
-Dad and mom can share beautiful moments as the doula holds a safe space for them
-Dad can be in the postpartum pictures instead of taking all of them

2.  Myth: A doula only takes clients who wish to have an unmedicated birth

Debunked: Not true! Having a doula is a wonderful addition to any birth "team." Doulas certainly accompany mothers who have unmedicated births but also women who plan to have an epidural or
a baby via c-section. The support given by the doula changes based on each birth but the idea is the same: to help the mother to have the birth experience she desires (as much as possible).

In an unmedicated birth, the two main components to support are emotional and physical support. More effort is needed for comfort measures during contractions and on into birth (as compared with a medicated birth). 

In a medicated birth where a mother receives an epidural, support is more emotional. The pain of labor may be gone but that doesn't necessarily mean every worry or anxiety is gone too. Women may need support for any unexpected side effects as well.

In a c-section, the doula takes on even another role for the mother. The support varies based on if the c-section is a non-emergency, an emergency or scheduled ahead of time. A doula still provides support before and after surgery and in some cases can even join mom in the operating room. Being with mom in the operating room and being able to process the event as it takes place one-on-one can make all the difference to the mother.

Everyone who is having a baby benefits by having a doula as part of their birth team!

3. Myth: A doula has her own agenda for birth

Debunked: If a doula does, she shouldn't. It is true that most doulas believe in the normalcy of birth and that the human body was designed in specific ways to have a baby safely and with little to no interventions. However, a doula is trained to respect that everyone has different life experiences that contribute to their feelings about childbirth. A doula's role is not to impose her opinions on her clients but to help the mother to discover her own desires for birth and put them into action. Doulas do not try to save the world from medications and surgery during childbirth but rather, they try to help the mother have the best birth experience possible, according to the mother.

I hope this helped to crush some myths about doula care.