Doula myths debunked

If you are not familiar with the term "doula," as in birth doula, it is a woman who provides constant emotional and physical support to the mother during labor and birth and in the immediate postpartum time. Or, that's the bare bones of it.

In keeping with my new found birth junkie side, I wanted to address something that I saw on a message board about doulas. In an open discussion about how to talk to a woman looking into doula care for her birth, someone stated that there are three common objections to or myths about doula services:

1. A doula takes the place of a husband/partner
2. A doula only takes clients who wish to have an unmedicated birth
3. A doula has her own agenda for birth

So true I thought... and if I want people I know to give the idea of having a doula at their birth a chance- I best get my story straight. Here's the story....

1. Myth: A doula takes the place of the husband or partner.

Debunked: No way! A birth doula can serve a mother who has a husband/partner, other support people with her or is single. A laboring woman needs all the attention of support people outside of nurses, doctors and midwives (who have their own responsibilities). Many times it does take four (or more) hands to help the mother as she needs it during contractions for pain relief. The doula is more of a conduit between the laboring woman and partner, teaching the partner how to best serve mom as her needs change throughout labor. The mother also needs someone she can rely on for information as needed. She should not have to rely on only herself as her "normal self" may have been taken over by her "labor self" a while ago. Dad is not best for this role either (as anyone with a husband can imagine). The doula, knowledgeable in hospital procedures and protocols, comfort measures, positioning, and breastfeeding in the postpartum time is perfect for information transfer, helping mom and her partner work together to birth their baby.

The best things about the doula/husband or partner combo:
-Dad experiences less pressure because mom's needs are met and he is not the go-to for everything
-Dad has his needs met too
-If dad needs to leave the room to handle childcare for other children or get something to eat, mom is safe and sound and supported best of all
-Dad and mom can share beautiful moments as the doula holds a safe space for them
-Dad can be in the postpartum pictures instead of taking all of them

2.  Myth: A doula only takes clients who wish to have an unmedicated birth

Debunked: Not true! Having a doula is a wonderful addition to any birth "team." Doulas certainly accompany mothers who have unmedicated births but also women who plan to have an epidural or
a baby via c-section. The support given by the doula changes based on each birth but the idea is the same: to help the mother to have the birth experience she desires (as much as possible).

In an unmedicated birth, the two main components to support are emotional and physical support. More effort is needed for comfort measures during contractions and on into birth (as compared with a medicated birth). 

In a medicated birth where a mother receives an epidural, support is more emotional. The pain of labor may be gone but that doesn't necessarily mean every worry or anxiety is gone too. Women may need support for any unexpected side effects as well.

In a c-section, the doula takes on even another role for the mother. The support varies based on if the c-section is a non-emergency, an emergency or scheduled ahead of time. A doula still provides support before and after surgery and in some cases can even join mom in the operating room. Being with mom in the operating room and being able to process the event as it takes place one-on-one can make all the difference to the mother.

Everyone who is having a baby benefits by having a doula as part of their birth team!

3. Myth: A doula has her own agenda for birth

Debunked: If a doula does, she shouldn't. It is true that most doulas believe in the normalcy of birth and that the human body was designed in specific ways to have a baby safely and with little to no interventions. However, a doula is trained to respect that everyone has different life experiences that contribute to their feelings about childbirth. A doula's role is not to impose her opinions on her clients but to help the mother to discover her own desires for birth and put them into action. Doulas do not try to save the world from medications and surgery during childbirth but rather, they try to help the mother have the best birth experience possible, according to the mother.

I hope this helped to crush some myths about doula care.

And now, the Labor Playlist

Why has it been forever since my last post? Come on, me, work it out!

Over last weekend I took a birth doula training/workshop as part of my certification to become, well, a birth doula. So basically for three whole days I ate, slept, breathed, and you know what else- birth. I thought it was awesome!

In recalling the birth of my darling Leila in July of 2010, I remembered that the best part of it was my labor playlist- listening to my favorite music while laboring. Here it is, feel free to steal part or all of my playlist for your birthing enjoyment!

The Labor Playlist:

(in this order)

1. Help by The Beatles
2. Painbirds by Sparklehorse
3. Under Pressure by Queen/Bowie
4. Stronger by Kanye West

5. Float On by Modest Mouse
6. Push-It by Salt-N-Pepa
7. Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
8. Alive by Pearl Jam
9. Made to Love by Toby Mac
10. Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N Roses

11.(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin
12. Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
13. My Girl by The Temptations
14. Layla by Derek & The Dominos (Eric Clapton)
15. O Praise Him (All This for a King) by David Crowder Band

Bonus track: In the Backseat by Arcade Fire. Chick was singing her heart out as I was working through contractions and it rocked.

My doula remembers me saying, while the song Layla was playing, "aren't I supposed to be having my baby now?"

What a funny girl I am!

The new me

I am ready for something new. Do you ever feel like that?

I had a really yucky week about a week or two ago. I just felt like I had the need-a-change heebies. I have recently had some changes take place within relationships, my place of worship, and the flow of my household. Finding a new normal is so stressful and gives me the feeling like I want to uproot and start all over again. It's hard to explain. I hope I am making a piece of sense.

The yucky feeling I had has turned into a positive feeling about making some positive changes for my life and my family's lives. Game on.

At the end of next month I have this wonderful opportunity to take training to become a certified Birth Doula. A Birth Doula is a trained labor support person and fulfills a variety of roles and makes birth the best experience that it can be. This is something that has been on my heart since I became pregnant with Leila and has kept with me. I am reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and I love it. This is definitely a new, uncharted path for me. It's a way that I can work with other moms and babies and support my family too. Can't wait!

It's totally heinous but my husband starts school in 3 weeks. Yuck. I feel like I just got used to him being here with me and the kids everyday and now- another transition! I am not complaining. I realize how lucky I am to have a husband with summers off. It is beautiful. Everyone thinks that teaching is the best job in the world with the whole summers-off thing. Let me tell you, it makes up for the fact that my husband wakes up at 4:30am everyday to grade so that he can spend time with the kids in the evening before totally crashing out. And the anxiety. And the sleeplessness. And the fact that my husband doesn't laugh almost at all during the school year. The pay isn't glamourous either but we are thankful for it. Anyway, his impending return make me feel inspired to embrace the change than resist. Here are some things on my school time/fall to do list:

1. Get the holistic/homeopathic medicine cabinet ready
2. Touch of the paint on the house
3. Organize our calendar for the next several months
4. Plan date nights/times
5. Put up a display wire for the kids project and art from home and school
6. Plan Thanksgiving and Christmas

You probably think I am nutz-o for thinking of medicine cabinets and winter holidays but no way. Have I mentioned that I am "seasonally affected" (hahah S.A.D. jokes here) and that I spent all last fall (from Sept 13 or Dec 15) with my mom who was dying of cancer?

My fall/winter anxiety is welling and I am trying to be cool about everything. I think I would be an awesome psychological experiment for someone....

Update on all this soon!

The birth experience

Oh, birth, where do I start?

Birth is not a blip in your history. It is not one exact moment but a combination of moments that have lasting affects. Back in the day (way back), everyone's birth was probably pretty similar in terms of choices. There was just one way to do it- vaginally and with little to no medicine. Surgery was a rarity. If you know anyone who has been pregnant or is pregnant, you know the options are quite different. This is good and bad. For a lot of women and their doctors, birth is just business- if you are pregnant, the baby is going to come out one way or another! Little consideration seems to be given to the experience of birth. Having a good birth can make all the difference in the post partum time and as you continue to bond with your baby as s/he grows.

me and sofia

I had two very different births. My daughter Sofia was 10 days late and I ended up being induced. My induction led to camelbacked contractions and an epidural. Sofia, thankfully, was very healthy despite the wack-o contractions, the vacuum extraction and being forced to "move out" before she was ready. She was 7 lbs and 8 oz. My second daughter Leila was born 5 days early (thank you to my wonderful midwife Julie for getting things moving!). I opted to be present for this birth and have her completely naturally. I switched from a obstetrician to a CNM/midwife and hired a doula (a birth assistant for mother and family). It was awesome. It hurt like hell, but it was awesome and amazing and super-empowering. She, thankfully, was also healthy and weighed in at 8 lbs 4 oz.

me and leila

When I was planning for my birth with Leila, I had to make some big changes. I did not want the same experience I had with my first birth. First, I had to break-up with my doctor. It was a bummer because I really liked him and he had delivered my other daughter. It also sucked because I thought he might be mad at me or something. Once I made the switch to my midwife I didn't look back. It was the best decision I could have made. It is so important to have a doctor that cares about what you care about.  YOU PAY THEM. YOU ARE THE CLIENT! Be encouraged if you feel like you need to make a change. Secondly, I hired a doula. A doula is someone who does not replace your partner or mother but is in addition to and takes care of everyone. She makes sure that mom and dad rest if possible, that everyone is eating and breathing and drinking water. She is there from start to finish. She is constant. Thank you, Jordan, for being that for me! Third, I wrote out an easy to read, bulleted birth plan stating what I did and did not want while at the hospital. It was very clear. I am flexible but I did not want to be pushed over in a very vulnerable state (ahem, labor).  Lastly, I got my labor mix set on my ipod and jammed-out until things got serious.

The things that kept popping into my head when I was thinking about what I wanted for my birth experience:

• The nationwide rate of c-section according to the Centers for Disease Control is around 30% and higher in some places around the U.S.
• Inductions can lead to fetal distress or breaking of water which can lead to c-sections
• Having a c-section, although common, is major surgery
• Recovery time for vaginal birth is shorter than for c-section 

As you look to your birth experience, here are some things you should do:

• Ask yourself it your doctor cares about what you care about. If not, dump him/her and interview new ones
• Visit hospitals and birthing centers to see where you will be most comfortable and even look into homebirthing options
• Consider hiring a doula (Doulas of North America www.dona.org/mothers/index.php) who will be your advocate during
• Read- the more familiar you are about birth and what is normal, the less freaked out you will be when it comes on
• If your doctor even mentions c-section, start asking questions and a lot of them!  

A final note about c-sections-

It is literally all the time that I hear someone say "I had to have a c-section." I actually hear of more people having c-sections than I hear of people having vaginal birth (hello, the way we were designed to birth children). I am thankful that we have the technology to perform c-sections. I think there are certainly times when c-sections are necessary. I however strongly believe that the power to perform c-sections is being greatly misused in our current health system. I do not believe that a doctor going on vacation or just because the mother wants one or being scared of having a baby are valid reasons to have a c-section. I do not buy it that 30% of American women can't birth babies vaginally. I just don't buy it. Like I was saying before, if your doc says c-section and your red flags go up, start asking questions or even get a second opinion. 

Woman, you are powerful! You can take back your birth experience! 


leila and sofia, loves of my labors