Meee-ilk! Peas!

Yes, my daughter is going on 18 months and we are still nursing. That's her asking for the milk- "Mee-ilk peas" as she signs for "please." It's so cute, even if I wanted to turn her down, I couldn't. Long term nursing, and breastfeeding in general, is a somewhat controversial topic. I've been nursing for 3 out of the last 3 1/2 years, nursing my first daughter until 19 months and this daughter until... I don't know when. It's not as bad as it seems and not as weird either. Here's a little perspective.

I love the above pic. I have been thinking about a post for a long time called "nursing sutra." I think I just made up my own term! Basically it's when your beautiful little baby grows up but is still nursing and tries to do all kinds of crazy acrobatics while attached to the milk source, i.e. the nipple. In this pic, Leila is literally folded in half, feet on my tummy, drinking milk. She starts out in some sort of cradle hold and ends up like this or something worse about 30 seconds later. Awesome, especially if you are me. Abuse! It all started around 10 months with both my daughters. I have had headstands, one leg up in the air, upside down and even a couple flips off of the nursing chair (as seen in pic). But it's all worth it and for a total of about 5 minutes a day now, I think I can handle it.

Here is another one:

She is totally standing up on my stomach and bent over to drink milk. Can I catch a break?

So here are some great things about long term nursing........

• Continued bonding time even as child grows
• No pressure about weaning for mom or child
• The amount of time nursing gets drastically shorter as the child begins eating more and more table foods
• Great part of the bedtime routine

My favorite of these is relief of pressure about weaning. I feel like that is something that nursing moms fear many times- I know I had a moment where I felt really confused about how it would all shake out. With my first daughter, Sofia, I became pregnant when she was 15 months old. I didn't notice a drastic decline in her interest just because I was pregnant, we were already headed in that direction before that. We nursed less and less. If she asked for it, I said ok. If she did not ask for it, I didn't offer either. It was very peaceful for both of us and I was happy with how it gradually ended. I don't know how things will go with Leila, as she is a bit more of a momma's girl than Sofia ever was. She definitely loves her mee-ilk and still asks for it 2-3 times a day. As she may be my last child, I don't mind. The bonding I have experienced with both my girls through breastfeeding is priceless and I would do it over in a second.

If you are with child or hope to be, please consider breastfeeding your child.

If you are already breastfeeding- awesome! Don't freak out about long-term nursing just do what feels right and don't worry about what others may think. Wean only when ready.

Glad I could share a little piece of my "nursing sutra" with you. Please tell me that I am not the only one with a child who does this?

Doula myths debunked

If you are not familiar with the term "doula," as in birth doula, it is a woman who provides constant emotional and physical support to the mother during labor and birth and in the immediate postpartum time. Or, that's the bare bones of it.

In keeping with my new found birth junkie side, I wanted to address something that I saw on a message board about doulas. In an open discussion about how to talk to a woman looking into doula care for her birth, someone stated that there are three common objections to or myths about doula services:

1. A doula takes the place of a husband/partner
2. A doula only takes clients who wish to have an unmedicated birth
3. A doula has her own agenda for birth

So true I thought... and if I want people I know to give the idea of having a doula at their birth a chance- I best get my story straight. Here's the story....

1. Myth: A doula takes the place of the husband or partner.

Debunked: No way! A birth doula can serve a mother who has a husband/partner, other support people with her or is single. A laboring woman needs all the attention of support people outside of nurses, doctors and midwives (who have their own responsibilities). Many times it does take four (or more) hands to help the mother as she needs it during contractions for pain relief. The doula is more of a conduit between the laboring woman and partner, teaching the partner how to best serve mom as her needs change throughout labor. The mother also needs someone she can rely on for information as needed. She should not have to rely on only herself as her "normal self" may have been taken over by her "labor self" a while ago. Dad is not best for this role either (as anyone with a husband can imagine). The doula, knowledgeable in hospital procedures and protocols, comfort measures, positioning, and breastfeeding in the postpartum time is perfect for information transfer, helping mom and her partner work together to birth their baby.

The best things about the doula/husband or partner combo:
-Dad experiences less pressure because mom's needs are met and he is not the go-to for everything
-Dad has his needs met too
-If dad needs to leave the room to handle childcare for other children or get something to eat, mom is safe and sound and supported best of all
-Dad and mom can share beautiful moments as the doula holds a safe space for them
-Dad can be in the postpartum pictures instead of taking all of them

2.  Myth: A doula only takes clients who wish to have an unmedicated birth

Debunked: Not true! Having a doula is a wonderful addition to any birth "team." Doulas certainly accompany mothers who have unmedicated births but also women who plan to have an epidural or
a baby via c-section. The support given by the doula changes based on each birth but the idea is the same: to help the mother to have the birth experience she desires (as much as possible).

In an unmedicated birth, the two main components to support are emotional and physical support. More effort is needed for comfort measures during contractions and on into birth (as compared with a medicated birth). 

In a medicated birth where a mother receives an epidural, support is more emotional. The pain of labor may be gone but that doesn't necessarily mean every worry or anxiety is gone too. Women may need support for any unexpected side effects as well.

In a c-section, the doula takes on even another role for the mother. The support varies based on if the c-section is a non-emergency, an emergency or scheduled ahead of time. A doula still provides support before and after surgery and in some cases can even join mom in the operating room. Being with mom in the operating room and being able to process the event as it takes place one-on-one can make all the difference to the mother.

Everyone who is having a baby benefits by having a doula as part of their birth team!

3. Myth: A doula has her own agenda for birth

Debunked: If a doula does, she shouldn't. It is true that most doulas believe in the normalcy of birth and that the human body was designed in specific ways to have a baby safely and with little to no interventions. However, a doula is trained to respect that everyone has different life experiences that contribute to their feelings about childbirth. A doula's role is not to impose her opinions on her clients but to help the mother to discover her own desires for birth and put them into action. Doulas do not try to save the world from medications and surgery during childbirth but rather, they try to help the mother have the best birth experience possible, according to the mother.

I hope this helped to crush some myths about doula care.