My God, my Provider

I know I have written before about the bible verse that talks about God's provision for His people.

It comes from Matthew 6: 30-33 and says:

"And if God cares so wonderfully for the wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don't worry about these things, saying 'What will we eat?' 'What will we drink?' 'What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

With this verse in mind I want to tell you a story.

Last school year was a little rough for my husband who is a teacher. He received notice that their corporation would be experiencing a pay cut for at least the next two years. This, I know, was devastating to him. He has come from very little and has really worked his way up to where he is at today. While our current situation overall is much better than the example that he and I grew up with, we are far from "rolling in dough." It's more like "makin' it." I was concerned but knew that it would all work out. I had this feeling that we were going to make it somehow.

A couple of weeks ago we were talking about the upcoming school year and the amount we would be be losing per month. If we thought things were tight before.....

Two weeks ago we got a knock at the door. It was a solicitor for our current Internet company. Usually this would be totally annoying and surely they would come at the least opportune moment like while I have my breast hanging out, nursing Leila or when both the girls just laid down for a nap but weren't quite asleep when the door bell rang SEVERAL times. This guy, though, had good news. Due to some new competition in the area he wanted to reduce out monthly payment by $15 and upgrade our Internet to a faster speed for free. We looked for the catch- none! AND a new router showed up at our door a couple of days later- no charge. WOW!

But here is the kicker. We recently had to update our tax information to our student loan place so that they could assess our payment amount. After the assessment they sent us our new bill- cut nearly in half!!! This could not possibly be right. Jamie called to get the the bottom of it and they said that the adjusted amount was in fact correct. I cried. Together with the Internet reduction, it was almost the exact amount we would be losing each month with the pay cut.

Listen- I am not perfect. The only thing I am perfect at is being a mess, or at least that is exactly how I feel. I get angry with my kids sometimes, I yell some times, I can have a potty mouth on occasion, I have prejudices and hurts and wants. I deserve nothing. Really.

What I do have is a heart for God. I want to love people more. I want to help others and love my family. I want to value people and relationships more. I have a desire to be better.

Just like a parent looks beyond a child's bad behavior sometimes to love them and provide for them, so our Father looks past our yuckies to what is deep in our hearts. He is everything we need and when we seek Him, He will provide for us.

God, You are way good! Amen!