The new me

I am ready for something new. Do you ever feel like that?

I had a really yucky week about a week or two ago. I just felt like I had the need-a-change heebies. I have recently had some changes take place within relationships, my place of worship, and the flow of my household. Finding a new normal is so stressful and gives me the feeling like I want to uproot and start all over again. It's hard to explain. I hope I am making a piece of sense.

The yucky feeling I had has turned into a positive feeling about making some positive changes for my life and my family's lives. Game on.

At the end of next month I have this wonderful opportunity to take training to become a certified Birth Doula. A Birth Doula is a trained labor support person and fulfills a variety of roles and makes birth the best experience that it can be. This is something that has been on my heart since I became pregnant with Leila and has kept with me. I am reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and I love it. This is definitely a new, uncharted path for me. It's a way that I can work with other moms and babies and support my family too. Can't wait!

It's totally heinous but my husband starts school in 3 weeks. Yuck. I feel like I just got used to him being here with me and the kids everyday and now- another transition! I am not complaining. I realize how lucky I am to have a husband with summers off. It is beautiful. Everyone thinks that teaching is the best job in the world with the whole summers-off thing. Let me tell you, it makes up for the fact that my husband wakes up at 4:30am everyday to grade so that he can spend time with the kids in the evening before totally crashing out. And the anxiety. And the sleeplessness. And the fact that my husband doesn't laugh almost at all during the school year. The pay isn't glamourous either but we are thankful for it. Anyway, his impending return make me feel inspired to embrace the change than resist. Here are some things on my school time/fall to do list:

1. Get the holistic/homeopathic medicine cabinet ready
2. Touch of the paint on the house
3. Organize our calendar for the next several months
4. Plan date nights/times
5. Put up a display wire for the kids project and art from home and school
6. Plan Thanksgiving and Christmas

You probably think I am nutz-o for thinking of medicine cabinets and winter holidays but no way. Have I mentioned that I am "seasonally affected" (hahah S.A.D. jokes here) and that I spent all last fall (from Sept 13 or Dec 15) with my mom who was dying of cancer?

My fall/winter anxiety is welling and I am trying to be cool about everything. I think I would be an awesome psychological experiment for someone....

Update on all this soon!