The birth experience

Oh, birth, where do I start?

Birth is not a blip in your history. It is not one exact moment but a combination of moments that have lasting affects. Back in the day (way back), everyone's birth was probably pretty similar in terms of choices. There was just one way to do it- vaginally and with little to no medicine. Surgery was a rarity. If you know anyone who has been pregnant or is pregnant, you know the options are quite different. This is good and bad. For a lot of women and their doctors, birth is just business- if you are pregnant, the baby is going to come out one way or another! Little consideration seems to be given to the experience of birth. Having a good birth can make all the difference in the post partum time and as you continue to bond with your baby as s/he grows.

me and sofia

I had two very different births. My daughter Sofia was 10 days late and I ended up being induced. My induction led to camelbacked contractions and an epidural. Sofia, thankfully, was very healthy despite the wack-o contractions, the vacuum extraction and being forced to "move out" before she was ready. She was 7 lbs and 8 oz. My second daughter Leila was born 5 days early (thank you to my wonderful midwife Julie for getting things moving!). I opted to be present for this birth and have her completely naturally. I switched from a obstetrician to a CNM/midwife and hired a doula (a birth assistant for mother and family). It was awesome. It hurt like hell, but it was awesome and amazing and super-empowering. She, thankfully, was also healthy and weighed in at 8 lbs 4 oz.

me and leila

When I was planning for my birth with Leila, I had to make some big changes. I did not want the same experience I had with my first birth. First, I had to break-up with my doctor. It was a bummer because I really liked him and he had delivered my other daughter. It also sucked because I thought he might be mad at me or something. Once I made the switch to my midwife I didn't look back. It was the best decision I could have made. It is so important to have a doctor that cares about what you care about.  YOU PAY THEM. YOU ARE THE CLIENT! Be encouraged if you feel like you need to make a change. Secondly, I hired a doula. A doula is someone who does not replace your partner or mother but is in addition to and takes care of everyone. She makes sure that mom and dad rest if possible, that everyone is eating and breathing and drinking water. She is there from start to finish. She is constant. Thank you, Jordan, for being that for me! Third, I wrote out an easy to read, bulleted birth plan stating what I did and did not want while at the hospital. It was very clear. I am flexible but I did not want to be pushed over in a very vulnerable state (ahem, labor).  Lastly, I got my labor mix set on my ipod and jammed-out until things got serious.

The things that kept popping into my head when I was thinking about what I wanted for my birth experience:

• The nationwide rate of c-section according to the Centers for Disease Control is around 30% and higher in some places around the U.S.
• Inductions can lead to fetal distress or breaking of water which can lead to c-sections
• Having a c-section, although common, is major surgery
• Recovery time for vaginal birth is shorter than for c-section 

As you look to your birth experience, here are some things you should do:

• Ask yourself it your doctor cares about what you care about. If not, dump him/her and interview new ones
• Visit hospitals and birthing centers to see where you will be most comfortable and even look into homebirthing options
• Consider hiring a doula (Doulas of North America www.dona.org/mothers/index.php) who will be your advocate during
• Read- the more familiar you are about birth and what is normal, the less freaked out you will be when it comes on
• If your doctor even mentions c-section, start asking questions and a lot of them!  

A final note about c-sections-

It is literally all the time that I hear someone say "I had to have a c-section." I actually hear of more people having c-sections than I hear of people having vaginal birth (hello, the way we were designed to birth children). I am thankful that we have the technology to perform c-sections. I think there are certainly times when c-sections are necessary. I however strongly believe that the power to perform c-sections is being greatly misused in our current health system. I do not believe that a doctor going on vacation or just because the mother wants one or being scared of having a baby are valid reasons to have a c-section. I do not buy it that 30% of American women can't birth babies vaginally. I just don't buy it. Like I was saying before, if your doc says c-section and your red flags go up, start asking questions or even get a second opinion. 

Woman, you are powerful! You can take back your birth experience! 


leila and sofia, loves of my labors