For as long as I can remember I have had vivid dreams. I remember dreams I had from way back when I was a child. I wanted to share the dream I had from the other night.
I had a rough night of sleep as both the girls were up at least once a piece. Before waking I had this dream:
It was very bright. Like it was sunny. I guess it was sunny, and my mom was there dressed in some of her favorite summer clothes: a pair of sweat shorts and a pink tank top. So typical. Mom was still older but she was perfect- there was no sense that anything was wrong. In every other dream that I have had about her since she passed I have always known at some point in the dream that she wasn't supposed to be there because she was gone. I remember that my daughter Leila was crawling around my house and climbing up on the couch and jumping off into my mom's arms. She was doing that over and over and they were having a great time. Sofia was there too and they were all playing together. At the end of the dream my mom was taking the girls down the street for a walk in the wagon.
I woke up in tears. What a beautiful gift I was given through this dream. In the dream, like I was saying, I never felt this underlying dread, of loss. I felt whole again. Overjoyed. Content. Like everything was right.
God knows my heart and He knows that the sadness I still have is more for my children than for myself. The desire of my heart is that I would see my mom and my girls to play together. I have now. Until we all meet again, I will take it. I feel so blessed.
I still miss her so much.
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